Anyone who knows the words, sing along: “Great big globs of greasy grimy gopher guts, mutilated monkey meat, little birdies bloody feet, French fried eyeballs fried in a pool of blood and me without my spoon…so I take out my straw and…” Brings back memories of my childhood.

When my friend Butthead suggested we go to Snack Alley, I balked but since he’s directionally challenged (doesn’t know his way around), I thought it’d be an interesting adventure.

Snack Alley (AKA Bug Street) is definitely an enigma. Located in the heart of Beijing just east of Tiananmen Square and the Forbidden City in one of the original posh shopping malls named Wangfujing, it’s definitely a tourist venue. I believe I’d been there before but it really doesn’t get cranking until the evening.

You order your insect of choice and they’ll cook it. I spotted several skewered scorpions still moving on the stick. Grasshoppers, scorpions, sea snakes, seahorses, lizards, star fish, cockroaches, and other delicacies were waiting for the brave of stomach. I didn’t see many consumers of these creatures. Those that ate stuck to standard Chinese fare of rice, noodles, tea, etc..

As a child, Mom fed us rocky mountain oysters without telling us until afterwards. I’ve eaten octopus. I ate a fried scorpion when served as part of our duck dinner years ago. It tasted like crunchy bacon. Our Chinese subcontractor tried and failed to get us to eat dog penis soup. I have an insatiable appetite. It’s impossible to get me full, but, like the dog penis soup, it’s another event in which I lied because I ‘suddenly felt full’. Here’s a few choice photos.